Goody Beagle here. My house brother Alex has learned to hate The Cat, just like I do. I knew he would eventually. Nobody could like The Cat with her weird cat eyes and her mean ways.

I try to leave The Cat alone as much as possible, but Alex is trying to beat her at her own game. The result is War. I am the War Correspondent. Here’s the latest from the battlefield:

We have a dog door into the back yard. (The Cat thinks it is a cat door.) Somehow The Cat knows when Alex starts to think about going outside to pee or dig a hole. (Her weird cat eyes can see inside his brain.) So she has taken to sitting in front of the dog door inside the house when

Alex wants to go outside. She won’t move, no matter how much he dances in front of her. She just stares at him, which reminds him of all the times she has swiped at his nose with her claws. The stand-off continues until the human comes along and makes The Cat move.

Alex figured out a way to get back at The Cat. He can’t see inside her head, but he waits until he sees her get off her bean bag (which is really MY bean bag) and then he races into the kitchen and parks himself in front of the water dish. His body is just the right size and shape to curl around the dish and he won’t move when she comes in to get a drink. She stares at him but somehow he knows that he has the upper hand this time and he just stares back. This stand-off continues until the human comes along and makes Alex move. She says The Cat needs water too. The traitor.

I applaud Alex for his sneakiness in winning a battle, but I know that in the end The Cat will win the war. As I’ve said before, The Cat always wins.